The last 347 days have been full of victories, triumphs, downfalls, and scares. It's been 347 days of learning and living and loving. But that also means I've spent 170+ of those days without my strength and unconditional love. It's hard not having him around all the time... but I'm getting used to it.
The last 347 days I've leared so much about myself. I'm loud and obnoxious and overly confident. I'm loving and giving and get easily attached to people and things. I love everything and everyone. I'm becoming better at expressing my feelings, even though I do it in the wrong way sometimes. Okay, not sometimes... more often than not.
I've also learned that I never ask for help. And I probably never will. But I will always be the first to offer my help! If I ever do ask for help, it's because I REALLY need it.
I've realized that I've got it pretty damn good. I've got a beautiful brand new car, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and food in my cupboard. My power is on, and I'm currently watching Netflix, waiting for my turn on my 40" flat screen so I can watch Big Brother. I'm posting this on my smartphone via WiFi.
I've got it great. Life is good.
Today, I went to Walmart, and there was an older gentleman outside. He stopped me and we spoke for a couple minutes. He's had it rough the last while. He's been ill, so can't work. He's on disability, which we ALL know is next to no money. I asked him what he needed... he said he needs money. I apologized, said I don't have any cash, but I'd gladly pick him something up in the store. He said, "Well, Geez, I'd sure like some Cheez Whiz!" I gladly went into the store, bought him the big jar of Cheez Whiz and a loaf of bread.
Because I'd like to think that someone would do that for me.... or maybe he'll pay it forward when he can. I've got to have faith in humanity, faith that there are good people in the world.
I've discovered that I'm unconditionally, impossibly, unapologetically, happily head over heels in love with my best friend. I have been since the moment I met him, and I always will be. He's always been there for me. I can't even put into words what he means to me... that's how much he means to me.
I've come to the conclusion that I am an amazing mother. Not only to my human child, but to my fur children as well. My son is becoming a wonderful human being. He's so well-adjusted. He's so smart, kind, well-mannered, gentle, loving, and crazy! I've never seen him happier than he's been the last 347 days.
I've made some awesome friends and strengthened some existing friendships. I've been promoted at work. I bought a new car. I did Drop Zone again, raising almost $4000. I reconnected with my sisters. And I've done so much discovering of myself. It's been difficult at times, but I've done it.
To everyone that's been a part of this journey, this 347 day journey... I thank you. My son, Andrew. My love, Benny. My daddy! My momma. My sisters, who have always been there for me, even when I wouldn't let them be. My coworkers, who have become like family to me. Beth, Nigel, Cam... they've been with me every step of the journey. All of you, you are my strength... You've given me words of encouragement (and food) whenever I've felt down. I love you all. More than you'll ever know.
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