The Truth

This post contains some really private, graphic stories about my relationship with him. Feel free to read.... or not...

It's time to tell my story.

He and I started seeing each other in 2004. Shortly after getting together, I got pregnant. It was a stressful time, and it wasn't good on our relationship. We started arguing. Things weren't great.

When I was a few months pregnant, things got worse. The first time he hit me, it was with a frying pan. He hit me in the stomach with a frying pan. Right in my pregnant belly. He hit our unborn child. He could have KILLED our child.

And still I stayed. Why? Because he apologized. He told me how sorry he was. He told me he'd never do it again, that he just lost his temper. He was so, so sorry.

Did it happen again? Of course it did. He kept happening. Because of the immense amounts of abuse, because of what he did to me and how he treated me, I don't remember the first years of my son's life. I don't remember his first word, his first steps. I don't remember his first haircut, the first time he laughed. I remember nothing.

Well, that's not true. I remember things, but mostly bad things. I remember the day he punched me in the face while we were driving down Avenue C, and I remember him refusing to take me to the hospital even though my nose was gushing blood because someone saw him do it and he was going to get HIS ass kicked.

I remember getting pelted with boiled eggs because I was peeling them wrong.

I remember getting a whole cantaloupe thrown at my head. A WHOLE cantaloupe!

I remember the time a butcher knife was thrown at me because I was trying to get out of the house because he was angry at me for something.

I remember getting screamed at daily because the house wasn't "clean enough".

I also remember pushing his buttons.... I know I totally did. Not that that excuses his behaviour at all.

I remember the day I found out he was cheating on me. He had just come back from Halifax, and brought me a gift. I was unpacking his bag while he was showering, and I found another gift in the bottom of his bag. I asked him about it, and he said it was also for me! Which I didn't believe... So I looked at his cell phone. "I love you" "I can't wait to be with you" and on and on and on it went...

I memorized the number and texted her. Calling her a home wrecker and all kinds of other names. Once I calmed down, I found out that she had no idea he was with me... he was taking our child to go on play dates with her and her children.

The stories are never ending. I can keep going.

Like the time I found out that he actually picked up a hooker with our son in the car! Brought her back to our house, and in my son's words "went in your room and closed the door".

That's all for today. I've got so much more.... but that's all I'm going to talk about today.