I really don't know why I feel this way... I mean, my son is my world, my moon, my stars, my everything. I love him with my entire being. There's probably absolutely no logical reason as to why I feel this way, but I just do. Especially today, when I pulled his January newsletter from my backpack, and notice there is something important in there that I hadn't even bothered to look at.
I mean, I KNOW we are busy and there is so much going on in our lives right now... So I kinda just threw the newsletter into my bag, thinking I'll read it on my lunch break one day. Never did get around to it... I should have been practicing these spelling words with him (my boy's gonna be in a spelling bee, of sorts!) so he can get the right at least. At least some of them, anyway.
The older I get, the older he gets, the less time I feel like I'm giving him. Maybe it'll be different now. Andrew and I have access to a car, so we will get more time together... Maybe...
Maybe it'll get worse. Now we won't be having our daily walks together. So maybe we will start to lose that really tight bond that we have.
Ugh. I fucking hate feeling this way :( I want him to be my best friend forever... And I know one day, soon, it will end.
And that makes me really sad.
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