All I Really Need is a Hug

Fuck do I ever hate when I start feeling this way.  Everything is okay.  Actually, everything is great!  But then, BAM, suddenly, I'm questioning everything in my life, and it's making me...  sad.  And I don't like being sad.  

Today, I'm just asking myself, what have I done to deserve this?  And by this, I mean, every little thing in my life, the good and the bad.  What have I done to deserve to have such an amazing job?  With wonderful coworkers, who have turned into friends?  What have I done to deserve this beautiful home that I live in?  And this AMAZING child that I have?  What good have I ever done to deserve all that is good in my life?

And then there's the other side.  What have I ever done to deserve to be unhappy?  What have I ever done to deserve feeling constantly lonely?  What did I do to deserve all the bad shit that's happened?  

I just don't get it.  Like, why can't everything just be simple?  I'm so sick and tired of complicated.  I'm so sick and tired of...  I can't even say what I'm sick and tired of.  Just know, I'm sick and tired of it.

All I want is to be happy.  And, at the very least, I deserve that.  Everyone deserves that.  And, I know, everyone is in charge of their own destiny, and blah blah blah.  

I wish things were simple.