AHA!

It's really odd how filing papers can make me think of things...  Like, really random things.  Then I have to stop doing my filing so I can come and tell the world what I just figured out about myself.

AHA!!!

It's no secret that I have no social life, outside of my family that is.  And I just figure out why that is...

I'm afraid to get attached to people.  Afraid of what will happen if I do.  As soon as I start getting close to someone, I push them away.  It's out of my comfort zone.  I hate being out of my comfort zone.  I don't want to be hurt; I don't want to be unhappy if our friendship doesn't work out, or if it's not what I expected.  I don't want to be disappointed. 

Anyway, so now that I have figured out why I have no friends, I need to figure out how to get them...  How to get friends and how to get over my chronic fear of hurt, neglect, and disappointment.  I need to realize that not EVERYONE I love will hurt me...  And even if they do, it's not the end of the world.